I've been feeling rather displaced lately. It's as though I'm in this limbo stage where I don't belong anywhere, really. Part of that has to do with the fact that we are still in the process of support raising, and we can't make the move to Utah until we reach our 100% mark. My heart is longing more and more, everyday, to be there and to begin the work that God has laid out for us to do. The other part of that feeling, I think, is the fact that we are currently living with my parents. Don't get me wrong, we have been extremely blessed by their generosity and willingness to let us live with them. We are so grateful to be able to save more money while we wait to make our big move. Even so, I am beginning to feel anxious and eager to have a place to call my own once again.
It's the simple things I miss. Like being able to get creative and decorate our place to make a simple house/apartment feel like belongs to us. Like having a space for Jonathan to play in and make as messy as his little heart desires. But most of all, I miss having a place to have friends over. I miss the love, life and the laughter that used to flow through our home on a regular basis. (insert dramatic sigh here)
So, the topic in the Live Dead Journal today is all about hospitality. Needless to say, it spoke directly to my heart and all these feelings I've been having lately. The author says this about hospitality...
"[it is] our faith in action. It is prayerfully preparing a meal, inviting the Holy Spirit to lead and bless the conversation and fellowship. It is giving and often sacrificing time and focused attention to those whom Christ brings into our homes and seeing each one as Jesus does - because hospitality is really all about the way we see people....our home is one of the most powerful arenas to affect a life for God."
That last statement was good for me to read and is something I am still trying to grasp as true. Ever since Brett and I decided that I would stay home, I have struggled (and still do sometimes) with thinking that I wasn't "doing enough" or being as effective as I could be in life and in ministry. God has continued to do a work in my heart and mind to reassure me that staying home to take care of my family is and will continue to be the best thing I can do at this point in our lives, and as we get closer and closer to doing college ministry, I know this decision will only prove to be more beneficial.
Until then, I will try to be content with the home that I have and learn to use it as a tool for His glory, even if I can't call it my own.